Dating can be hard, especially because so much of it, despite all of our effort and most optimistic energy, turns out to be a giant waste of time. Well, even the 'wastes' aren't entirely useless: Even when relationships don't work out, you can be fulfilled by them for having had interesting experiences and learning things about yourself, other people, and what you do and don't want from a relationship. All of that is important, and we should value the experiences that give us that information, even if those 'experiences' involve having nothing to talk about with someone who smells bad and makes racist jokes. But, that said, there's really nothing that can take the sting out of spending weeks dating someone only to find out they're actually a registered sex offender, or believe they've had contact with aliens and that the FBI is after them as a consequence. Or just that they're utterly boring, you have nothing in common, and you can't wait for the date to be over so you can hang out with your friends. That is when dating can truly turn into a huge waste of time for you and everyone else involved.
I am a big fan of online dating when done correctly. As a tool, it's a great way to meet others outside your routine. Single parents, busy professionals, those who are new to a city etc. Can benefit when time is limited, routines and ability to go out all the time is scarce or when you are looking to meet others you normally would not have met due to constraints of friends, social circles. Science Just Proved That Online Dating Is a Waste of Your Time—Here's Why Claire Gillespie Updated: Jun. 23, 2021 Relationship science has a long way to go before it figures out an algorithm for.
There's this funny thing that happens when you turn 30 where all the sudden the same girls you matched with at 29 seem to just automatically have you filtered out of their search so the only women you match with are single mothers or women 25-35 that look like they're 45+. So it's just a lot less fun now. Groucho Marx once famously quipped 'I don't care to belong to a club that would have me as a member.' I sort of feel the same way about online dating sites. There has got to be a better way to. All you're doing on Tinder—all anyone is doing on Tinder—is waiting out the time until they find a real life person they actually care about dating. You can waste as much headspace as you.
It's generally pretty easy to know when you're not wasting your time: When you've got butterflies in anticipation of seeing someone, and when you see them it's wonderful and awesome and everyone is throwing their heads back laughing and you feel like you're being treated well, listened to, and respected. Feeling happy is never a waste of time. Sometimes though, it can be more difficult to tell if you are wasting your time. When you're dating, you often find yourself making excuses like, 'Maybe our next date will be better,' or 'I'm taking my time deciding,' or 'It's not like we said we were official.' All those can be legitimate too—sometimes first dates are awful and second dates are wonderful. Sometimes it takes a while to really open up to someone, and sometimes the exclusivity discussion really hasn't occurred because you're genuinely not at that place yet. But sometimes all these excuses are merely placeholders for ending your relationship with someone. Here are six signs you're probably just wasting your time with someone, and you should get out sooner rather than later:
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1. You don't find yourself imagining a future with them
You don't ALWAYS have to imagine a future with someone you're dating in order for it to be worthy of your time. Sometimes you're just dating for what it is, a bit of fun, and you're perfectly comfortable with it being short term. But when you're not even thinking about the future in a 'when am I going to see them next weekend?' kind of way, then you're probably (definitely) wasting your time. You should always be able to see some sort of future with the person you're dating, even if it is only a few days into the future.
2. You only hang out with them as a last option
If you find yourself on dates because you're looking for something to do and all your friends are busy, then you're wasting your time. Hang out alone instead. They invented Netflix binge watching specifically so you wouldn't have to go out on lackluster dates to pass the time.
3. You're seeing other people
Granted, there's a lot to be said for dating around. Spending time with multiple people in the same calendar month isn't, on its own, a sign that you aren't legitimately interested in any of them. But if you've been seeing someone for a while, and you're still actively seeking out other suitors while dating them, it's probably a sign that person isn't for you, and that you'd be happier elsewhere, so don't waste your time seeing that person when it could be better spent on the prowl.
4. They're seeing other people
On the other hand, if you're totally into someone but they wont commit to you exclusively and keep seeing other people, then they're a waste of your time. You should really only give your precious love to people who are willing to give it back to you on terms that satisfy you both. One person having their cake and eating it too never works out for the best.
5. Your texts/calls are never returned
If someone is too goddamn lazy to send you a thirty second text reply within an hour of you texting them (unless they're, I don't know, an OB/GYN who is literally delivering a baby), then they're not worth your time. Think about it like this: they're not willing to give up their time to contact you, so therefore they're probably a big fat waste of your time.
6. They don't ever prioritize you
Not responding to calls or texts is one thing, because as I mentioned sometimes there's a legitimate excuse. But that behavior paired with always being 'too busy' to make plans with you is a sure fire sign they're worried they're wasting precious time with you that could be better spent doing other things. You should always be with someone who wants to be with you. You should be in someone's top three priorities (work, significant other, family, in whatever order is most pressing at any given time), because everything else on the list isn't a priority at all, it's just an option—Don't be someone's option.
7. You're not interested in introducing them to your friends
Sure, you want to get a little one-on-one time under your belt before bringing any new person around your friends and family. That's normal and healthy. But if someone is such a snoozer or so embarrassing or so insignificant to you that you don't ever find yourself wanting to bring them around your friends then you're one hundred percent certainly wasting your time. You're not really serious about someone you don't want to introduce to your friends, and if they're not good enough for your friends to even have one or two drinks with on a night out, they're certainly not worth you spending your valuable time with.
8. They make you feel less than worthy
If anyone's treatment of you makes you feel consistently bad (be able to differentiate from say, natural and healthy disagreements as opposed to emotional manipulation or plain, downright meanness), then they're a hot bag of poop you should discard of immediately. Dating should make you feel predominantly good, and if someone makes you feel predominantly bad, that's the clearest sign for you to move on.
Images: NBC; Giphy (4)
The kindest thing you could say about the new dating site Whatsyourprice.com is that it is the perfect place for the world's laziest dudes and most cynical women to hook up. The least kind thing you could say is that it is mass-scale prostitution. Are you ready to buy and sell 'first dates?'
'WhatsYourPrice.com is like eBay for dating,' the site's founder, Brandon Wade, says in a press release. 'When you see a hot single you want to date, just make an offer and buy the first date.' (Wade is also the genius behind sugar daddy dating service SeekingArrangement.com)
Online Dating Is A Waste Of Time Reddit
If someone is too goddamn lazy to send you a thirty second text reply within an hour of you texting them (unless they're, I don't know, an OB/GYN who is literally delivering a baby), then they're not worth your time. Think about it like this: they're not willing to give up their time to contact you, so therefore they're probably a big fat waste of your time.
6. They don't ever prioritize you
Not responding to calls or texts is one thing, because as I mentioned sometimes there's a legitimate excuse. But that behavior paired with always being 'too busy' to make plans with you is a sure fire sign they're worried they're wasting precious time with you that could be better spent doing other things. You should always be with someone who wants to be with you. You should be in someone's top three priorities (work, significant other, family, in whatever order is most pressing at any given time), because everything else on the list isn't a priority at all, it's just an option—Don't be someone's option.
7. You're not interested in introducing them to your friends
Sure, you want to get a little one-on-one time under your belt before bringing any new person around your friends and family. That's normal and healthy. But if someone is such a snoozer or so embarrassing or so insignificant to you that you don't ever find yourself wanting to bring them around your friends then you're one hundred percent certainly wasting your time. You're not really serious about someone you don't want to introduce to your friends, and if they're not good enough for your friends to even have one or two drinks with on a night out, they're certainly not worth you spending your valuable time with.
8. They make you feel less than worthy
If anyone's treatment of you makes you feel consistently bad (be able to differentiate from say, natural and healthy disagreements as opposed to emotional manipulation or plain, downright meanness), then they're a hot bag of poop you should discard of immediately. Dating should make you feel predominantly good, and if someone makes you feel predominantly bad, that's the clearest sign for you to move on.
Images: NBC; Giphy (4)
The kindest thing you could say about the new dating site Whatsyourprice.com is that it is the perfect place for the world's laziest dudes and most cynical women to hook up. The least kind thing you could say is that it is mass-scale prostitution. Are you ready to buy and sell 'first dates?'
'WhatsYourPrice.com is like eBay for dating,' the site's founder, Brandon Wade, says in a press release. 'When you see a hot single you want to date, just make an offer and buy the first date.' (Wade is also the genius behind sugar daddy dating service SeekingArrangement.com)
Online Dating Is A Waste Of Time Reddit
Become her sugar daddy in 3 easy stepsOK, so you don't want to buy it by the hour or rent it for the weekend. The…
The site, which is free to join (though not to use!), is populated by two classes of people, euphemistically termed 'the generous' and 'the attractive.' As an 'attractive' member, you make a profile with all the normal dating stuff, while also indicating the amount of money someone would have to pay you to go on a date with them. As a 'generous' member, you troll the site and make offers to the attractive to buy a 'first date.'
When the offer is made, 'our offer negotiating system will allow you to accept an offer, reject an offer, or counter with a different price,' according to Whatsyourprice.com. Then you go on the date. The site offers helpful first date etiquette tips, including 'pay 50% of the date at the start of the date, and 50% at the end,' and 'if someone asks you to send money by Western Union, report them immediately.'
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Obviously, the first question about Whastyourprice.com is 'How is this not prostitution or escorting?' Luckily that's the exactly the first question addressed in an FAQ sent to us by a spokesman:
This is all about paying for the FIRST DATE! There is absolutely no sex involved, and except perhaps the chance of sex at some point in the future if you are able to successfully charm and seduce. But isn't that what every first date is about?
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So, no sex for these 'generous' (male) members. They are paying $150 for the pleasure of spending time with a woman who only dates if there's a profit involved. Whatsyourprice.com says it's a matter of efficiency, buying access to these women rather than sending out hundreds of emails on a traditional website. 'It's a matter of free market principles really,' Wade says. 'I guess that makes me the Adam Smith of online dating!'
For the 'attractive' (female) members, the case for Whatsyourprice is presented in similar free market terms. With Whatsyourprice.com, 'going out with someone no longer has to be a waste of time.' You are guaranteed to Make Money Dating™. (Yes, Make Money Dating™ is trademarked by the Las Vegas-based company that owns Whatsyourprice.com; and the entire service is apparently patent-pending.) Perfect for the lady who dresses as sexy Ayn Rand for Halloween.
Sugar daddies and their babies have been around since the dawn of commerce. But Whatsyourprice.com offers a slightly different form for those too busy for traditional romantico-financial relationships: The casual 'mutually beneficial arrangement.' [via Reddit]
